The second time around isn't always the same

My first pregnancy was probably a textbook perfect pregnancy. I had absolutely no nausea, no morning sickness, I felt super energetic, and I had no scares. The baby hit every milestone inside me, from the butterflies to the kicking, and when she was ready to enter this world, she came without any problems.

My second pregnancy, started off with a lot of nausea. I couldn't look at a lot of foods, without my gag reflex going off, and certain smells from foods, just made me not want to eat anything. For the first 4 months, I went through 4 very different colds, one lasting 2 months long with the added benefit of laryngitis. On top of my colds, I was dealing with a nauseous meltdown. It was probably the hardest and worst 4 months of my life.

After that passed, I was able to redeem some energy back. But life had it, where I was presented with a whole other set of problems. My sciatica started to flair up. I could hardly sit up straight and stand up straight, so I was stuck in the limbo of "I can't sit or stand, let's just kind of hang in mid air." Everything was just hurting, and sleeping in itself, seemed like a long drawn out task. I was able to go see a great physical therapist who specialized in prenatal therapy. Through that, I was able to do some pain management.

After I got my sciatica under control, then I was presented with a whole other issue. My daughter started to realize that she wasn't going to be the only one. With everyone's excitement over the next baby, she realized that she was going to have some competition. That's when she latched on and wanted to be attached to me. When I mean attached, she was literally hanging onto my thighs, as if she was another extension of my body. From then on, it progressed to crying a lot, doing lots of bad things to get my attention, and doing things she wouldn't normally do.

Currently, she has finally reached the acceptance stage. Now, she is excited to meet and play with the baby. She talks about what she would do with the baby and she knows she will be a big sister. We have come a long way! But oh the cycle continues and never seems to end. Just the other day, when I finally felt like everything was under control, I had a pregnancy scare. After I came out from my bath, I spotted a little blood. Of course, my heart dropped, and I could not breath. I ran into the room to tell my husband and we called our midwife. She assured us, as long as it wasn't prolonged bleeding with bouts of contraction, we should wait it out. I laid down on the bed and just prayed that everything was going to be fine.

The next day, everything was back to normal. But I was still on high alert. Every time the baby kicked or moved, it felt as if the baby was literally going to fall out of me. I didn't feel that with my first pregnancy, so it was another thing I was constantly thinking about. I went to my midwife appointment today and told her everything that was on my mind. So to make sure, she checked to see if my cervix was closed, and surely it was. What a big relief! I guess I am carrying the baby lower than my previous pregnancy, so I am feeling a lot more.

One thing I am learning is that no two pregnancies are the same. Just like life experiences, it takes you in all different directions. You just have to take it in strides.